fight/up date

so the last post was about me and matthew saying i love you to each other for the first time. and this post is about out first fight. yup it happened and it was the hardest thing. it happened on wednesday the 24th. my brothers had come down for my grandpa's funeral that was on thursday. their wives had said that maybe the brothers should skype with matthew so of course it came up and i got really nervous. well when i told matthew that i was nervous about it, he took it the wrong way. he thought that i was ashamed of him and it really upset him. i kept trying to explain to him that i wasn't ashamed of him, that i love him but my families opinion means a lot to me. so he thought that there was something wrong with him if it meant that i didn't want him to meet them. i was so upset because that's not what i meant about it at all. he thought that if one of my family members didn't like him, that i would kick him to the curb. so i explained to him again that im in love with him and that wouldn't happen. that if someone was skeptical about him, i would obviously consider it but it wouldn't mean i would automatically leave him. so then he wasn't texting me back and i got really worried. i started telling my mom about what happened and i start balling my eyes out. i was so upset that matthew would really think i was ashamed of him. i didn't understand what was so wrong about me being nervous about him meeting my big brothers. so he finally texted me back, he'd gone to the gym lol. so i apologized and said that i wasn't trying to make him feel like i was ashamed of him because its not true at all. he said i didn't need to be sorry because i wasn't in the wrong and that he over reacted. so we worked it out.
it was so hard though. our first fight. i'm definitely glad it's over but i hope we don't have another one for a very long time.
so now my task is getting matthew to come out here. i want to see him so bad. to be able to hold him and kiss him and tell him in person how much i really love him. to finally make our relationship official. i know it's gonna be hard especially since we live so far away. we'll pretty much always have a long distance relationship until we get married because neither one of us is in any position to leave where we are and move somewhere else. it's already hard and we're not even technically going out with each other. all i know is that i love matthew with every part of me and i want to be with him for forever. so i'm willing to wait, and to work through how hard this is gonna be so i can be with him.
he makes me so happy. he tells me about 50 times a day that i'm beautiful. he really does make me feel like i'm the most beautiful woman in the world. he is constantly making me laugh and when i'm talking to him, i can't stop smiling.
we talk all the time. since we started skyping we have skyped almost every night, except like 3 or 4 nights. we text all through out the day. and every night before we go to bed we text until we fall asleep. i love it. i can't wait until he comes out here!